Monday, September 19, 2011

My Story Begins

It's a bittersweet thing, being able to remember in all the gorey detail the exact moment your life went from normal, middle class suburban WASP to something far from normal.  Everything.  The car (or in this case, the truck), the spot in town we were driving, the questions being asked (including that one fateful questions that would begin a downward spiral that would change my life forever).  Everything was so benign up to that point that the shock I experienced from hearing that questions uttered aloud, at hearing what would be the first of hundreds of prying questions (and looks, and measurements and suggestions) over the years, I was completely unable to respond with anything but the truth.

Of all the many, many moments in my life since then that I wish I could change, this is the one moment I keep coming back to.  The only words that I've never been able to get out of my head, but always wanted so desperately to forget.  I still hear him flippantly ask (as if wanting to know what my favorite football team was, or my opinion on the designated hitter) "you masturbate much?"  I was a 13 year old boy.  What did he think the answer to that question was?

Still, looking back, he didn't care about the answer.  It wasn't the specific words that were important.  For the first time in my life, I passed a test I shouldn't have.  Unfortunately for him, I would be the one student he should have never taken.  His one mistake.


Anonymous said...

I trust you understand how your blog has encouraged other survivors. That itself is enough, but you've also saved countless others, I am certain. Perhaps some day you'll know their names...the ones who broke their silence after reading this. Maybe they didn't know what to do, or how. If nothing else the pedophile David Pierce isn't getting away with his "minister" lie any longer. His dirty secrets should be revealed, and while I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to write the words, it is imperative to do so.

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